


where the evening splits in half

by crownsandbirds



Series: sadist's lullaby [2]
Category: All For The Game - Nora Sakavic
Genre: Canon-Typical Violence, M/M, Possessive Behavior, Unhealthy Relationships, but nothing too bad just some choking, kevin has heart eyes for jeremy and riko wants to murder them both, riko is his own warning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-18
Updated: 2018-01-18
Packaged: 2019-03-06 08:36:35
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,845
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13407480
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/crownsandbirds/pseuds/crownsandbirds
Summary: It all narrows down to the simple fact that Jeremy Knox is a beautiful, whole thing, so unlike the three of them, he's unbroken and sunny like a piece of untainted gold, and Kevin just wanted to know what it feels like to see that from up close.





	where the evening splits in half

**Author's Note:**

> "There’s only one thing I want, don’t make me say it, just get me bandages, I’m bleeding,
> 
> I’m not just making conversation.
> 
> There’s smashed glass glittering everywhere like stars."
> 
> \- Richard Siken, Wishbone

Kevin doesn't think he's ever meant the words  _ it's a pleasure to meet you _ as much as he does right now, shaking hands with Jeremy Knox and seeing his award-winning smile face to face. 

Pleasure is a foreign concept back at home, in the Nest. It really depends on your definition of pleasure, in fact. It's easy to sneak some alcohol inside, and, with all the unhealthy codependency and hivemind going on, easier still to find someone to have sex with. Sometimes, you can even build something vaguely resembling a relationship. But all the walls and blankets are black as a nightmare, and everyone is all snarls and disdain and heavy hands and sharp nails and words, and Riko's kisses are demanding and filthy and they send shivers down his entire body; that's what Kevin is used to. 

He's not used to Jeremy Knox and the unkempt collar of his red shirt and the dimple on his sun-kissed cheek when he smiles as if seeing Kevin is simply the best thing that's ever happened to him. 

"Kevin Day, oh my God, I've been dying to meet you!" Jeremy says, and he's standing so close and he still has Kevin's left hand clasped between his own two hands, as if it's a precious bird he's afraid of letting go. "You look even better in person."

Kevin wants to say,  _ You're the second most beautiful person I've ever met _ , because not even in his thoughts he betrays what he feels for Riko _.  _ He opens his mouth, closes it. Can't bring himself to take a step back and retreat his hand and smile his polite grin, like he always does when meeting anyone else. "Trust me, Jeremy, the pleasure is all mine," he says after a second, and notices he truly means it, for the first time in his life. Jeremy Knox is a  _ pleasure _ , and he lets out a happy peal of laughter that sounds like a small ray of sunshine. 

"It's an honor, really. I wasn't sure if you even knew my name." 

Kevin wants to say,  _ how could I possibly not know your name? How could I possibly not know your name when I watched your team's games so many times Riko started becoming suspicious? How could I not know your name when I've been watching you from a distance ever since I found out you are the main reason why your team keeps winning the award that has my surname - my mother's name - in it?  _

"How could I not know your name?" he answers at least. "You have quite an enviable reputation, both as an athlete and as a person."

"Who knew Kevin Day, the son of Exy, could ever be envious of someone else, especially of someone like me?" Jeremy lets his hand go, finally, and Kevin misses the warmth of his skin so fiercely and immediately it startles him. He hopes it doesn't show on his face. "I wouldn't want to be in your place, though, I can't pull off black well to save my life." Jeremy's eyes are so gentle they look unreal as they flicker to and from the tattoo on Kevin's cheekbone, and he's  _ still smiling _ . "You, however, could use some sun. I should find your number one and try to talk him into a joined practice back in my court. What are my chances?"

_ Your number one.  _ Just like that, Kevin is brought back to reality. He glances over his shoulder, where Riko and Jean are standing by the food table, Jean carefully eyeing the plates looking for something to eat, and Riko nursing a half-drunk glass of champagne between his small fingers. Kevin can see, with a practiced ease borne out of years of overexposure, that his captain is displeased with something; he sees it on the way his jaw is clenched, the way his polite, toothpaste smiles are a little more strained than usual, the way he grasps at Jean's sleeve as if he wishes he could dig his nails on the skin of his wrist and leave purple half-moon bruises behind instead. 

Kevin's heartbeat picks up immediately. Riko's anger is an uncontrollable monster, fast and cruel and keen on making as much collateral damage as possible. It shouldn't make a scene here, in front of so many people, but Kevin doesn't want to take his chances. He hopes Jean can keep him entertained until Kevin goes to join them again to do damage control. 

He forces himself to keep smiling. It's not hard; Jeremy Knox' existence is enough to warrant a smile. "Good luck convincing Riko to do anything," he answers, at last, and it makes Jeremy giggle again, but the look in his eyes is knowing and careful. 

"Indeed, he doesn't seem to be in the best of moods tonight." Jeremy comments, and Kevin goes through a confusing anxious moment where he realizes someone else can see Riko's fury seeping through the seams of his tailored black three-piece. "If I give you my number, will you promise to let me talk to him about it later? I'm interested in seeing the famous Raven drills in person."

Kevin doesn't have time to think if Jeremy is flirting with him, so he just says, "Sure", hands over his phone and waits. 

Jean arrives the second Jeremy hands Kevin's phone back. His long pianist fingers are a familiar, warning pressure where they grasp Kevin's shoulder, and his entire body is tensed up. He nods at Jeremy. "Knox."

Jeremy smiles, because of course he does, but his smile looks sad and resigned and almost jealous. He's smarter than everyone gives him credit for. 

"Moreau."

"If you'll excuse us, I need to borrow Kevin for a moment." Jean's manners are as pristine as always as he tugs Kevin to follow him. 

Jeremy gives him a salute. "Of course! Later, Kevin. Send Riko my regards." he turns around and goes find someone else to talk to. 

The second he has his back turned to them, Jean's hold on his shoulder turns painful, and that's also familiar. "What in the  _ world _ were you  _ thinking _ ?" he hisses in Kevin's ear. Kevin notices, like he always does, that Jean's French accent comes out stronger when he's angry. It sounds beautiful, Kevin thinks. Jean is beautiful. He wants to tell him that, wants to make him understand that Kevin is so fond of beautiful things, especially of beautiful broken things. He’s fatally in love with Riko and his dark eyes and manic smiles, he’s fatally in love with the way Riko sits on his lap and kisses the life out of him, with the way he pulls promises and oaths and a sick twisted codependent love out of him as easily and painlessly as if he’s pulling baby teeth. He loves Riko, will go to the grave loving him. It’s not what this is about, he wants to tell Jean. It’s not about his loyalty to his captain his lover his number one his  _ king  _

It all narrows down to the simple fact that Jeremy Knox is a beautiful, whole thing, so unlike the three of them, he's unbroken and sunny like a piece of untainted gold, and Kevin just wanted to know what it feels like to see that from up close. He's very aware of the weight of his phone in his breast pocket. He wonders if Riko will make him delete Jeremy's number, and knows that he'll do anything to make that psychotic, dangerous tension on his shoulders go away. 

_ Anything _ , he said once.  _ I'll do anything for you, Riko _ . Those dark eyes narrowed and that cruel mouth let out a sly smirk like they always did when Kevin made a promise. 

Jean hands him over to Riko as soon as they reach him, and despite being slightly terrified of what awaits him, he feels at home, like this, between their arms.

"There you are, Kevin. I was wondering where you'd gone off to." Riko says, and he means,  _ how dare you. _

"I was just over there."  _ You know I would never.  _

He feels at home when Riko reaches up to his face and presses his thumb on his tattoo for a moment, the nail digging in slightly, as if he wants to carve the number onto his skin himself.  _ Do it,  _ Kevin wants to say.  _ Anything to make you understand.  _

"How's Jeremy Knox?" he asks. Hearing Jeremy's name on Riko's voice sounds like a strange, unlikely brand of heresy, an unnamed paradox. 

"He's great."

"Oh." Riko drawls out. "Is he."

He sounds so  _ mean _ , so jealous and angry it simultaneously hurts Kevin's ears and settles something inside his chest. Sometimes he forgets just how badly Riko wants (needs) attention. Sometimes he forgets it can be a matter of life and death - like a challenge. Like Riko is saying,  _ take your eyes off of me for a second and you'll see what i'm capable of doing.  _

Things would be easier if he knew that even when Kevin isn’t looking at him directly, his every sense and instinct are finely tuned to his existence. As if they’re two parts of the same shattered soul. 

Things would be easier if he knew that Kevin never wants to take his eyes off of him.

"He was just talking about doing a joined practice, Trojans and Ravens." 

This is not what they're supposed to be talking about, and Kevin wants to take Riko somewhere else, somewhere private where they can  _ talk _ , but Riko seems to be finding a sick pleasure in dragging out this pointless conversation and hurting both of them in the process. Jean watches them silently, arms crossed, expression unreadable - Jean never wants to take part in their little painful games with each other. 

Riko taps his finger against his pretty lips, and Kevin's eyes are instinctively drawn to them. "Sounds like a nice idea. The USC Trojans are a good enough team to be somewhat of a challenge. I'll mention it to my uncle."

Even Jean sighs at that.  _ Petty.  _ The second the two teams face each other Riko is going to take whatever opportunity he can get to break Jeremy Knox in half, because he loves collateral damage, because he loves to take things away from Kevin as if he doesn't know that the only two things Kevin can't live without are him and Exy. 

"Riko."

"What, Kevin."

"Can we talk? Somewhere private?"

Riko shrugs. "Sure. Jean, watch over the team for a moment. You know how they get when they don't have orders to follow." 

He sounds completely nonchalant, his tongue easily rolling around his Moriyama voice (the voice that says  _ if you let out a breath that mildly displeases me i'm going to kill you _ ), and, at this point, Kevin is almost bracing himself for the possibility of Riko pulling out a knife and stabbing someone in the eye right here, in public, so it's a bone-shattering relief when Jean nods and Riko turns to Kevin, puts a hand on the small of his back and guides him to a storeroom somewhere to the side. 

As soon as the door closes behind them, Kevin is thrown against a wall and slapped across the face, and he thinks, in the middle of a painful daze,  _ oh, there he is. _

"I hate you." Riko snarls, fingers wrapping around Kevin's neck and squeezing far too much to be just an empty threat. Almost none of Riko's threats are empty; he's always on the verge of homicidal. " _ Jeremy Knox _ ? Seriously, Kevin? God, I could  _ kill you. _ I could kill him. I could burn this  _ entire goddamn place down _ -"

Kevin doesn't for a moment doubt his ability to do so. He's also pretty sure Riko has a knife in him somewhere. Normally, he would bet on Riko's obsession with keeping his public image pristine, but tonight he's so far out of the ranges Kevin quietly braces himself for when they get home and him and Jean inevitably have to shove mood stabilizers down his throat so the three of them can get something vaguely resembling a night of sleep before morning practice.

"We didn't do anything, Riko, you know I wouldn't dare-" he manages to answer before Riko's hand tightens around his neck and his words are brutally cut off. 

"You think I'm fucking blind?"

In a bout of insane courage (when Riko's like this, he's like a wildfire, and there's no predicting who he'll burn to ashes), he grasps at Riko's wrist as strongly as he can. Riko is thrown out by the unexpected physical contact (when Riko's like this, no one touches him, no one comes close to him, he must be placated at a distance if you don't want a knife thrown at you) and Kevin gasps out, "You must be, if you can't see the obvious." 

Dark, dark eyes narrow dangerously. They have seen pictures of Ichirou Moriyama before, and these are the moments in which the brothers resemble each other the most. "Mind your tone," Riko says slowly, tasting every word. He sounds murderous. If this were Jean and not Kevin, there would already be a puddle of bright-red blood on the floor. 

Mentally preparing for nearly certain death, he gives Riko's wrist a violent twist - it's his Exy hand, God help them both - just enough to force him to let the hold on his throat loose, and the oxygen comes flowing blissfully into his lungs as he gasps and vaguely registers Riko stepping away from him and cradling his hand close to his body. 

He's not dead yet, so, apparently, there was no harm done, but Riko is looking at him with wide eyes, a mix of instinctive fear and homicidal fury. 

In his messy brain, Kevin can almost hear Jean mocking him,  _ great time to find a spine for yourself, Day. _

Since he's already been playing with death the entire night, he decides it can't possibly get any worse than this, so he walks towards Riko and holds him fiercely, wrapping his arms around him as tight as possible and praying for whatever cruel indifferent gods there are in the universe that Riko will be still for just long enough for Kevin to get his breath back.

"I could kill you." Riko says again when Kevin stops gasping. 

He could. He was on the brink of choking Kevin to death so Kevin went to the brink of twisting his dominant hand, so for now, they're on stalemate, but Riko is too restless to let this be.

"I would let you." Kevin says and, the moment he says it, he realizes it's true. Not like this, not on a shitty storeroom miles away from home, but on the Nest, by Riko's hands, in their room or in their court - yes. 

Riko is shaking now, and his hands reach up to grasp Kevin's shirt underneath his jacket.  _ What dangerous hands _ , Kevin thinks _. Beautiful, cruel hands.  _

"You don't get it, Kevin." Riko's voice sounds completely unstable, worlds away from his collected smooth tone just moments before. They're both out of immediate danger for now. "I hate events like this. I hate it when people look at you and touch you and smile at you. I hate all of them. I wish I could kill everyone that's ever thought they could steal you from me. You're mine, you're mine, you're-"

"Shh, Riko, it's okay." Kevin hushes him, adjusts them both so they can sit down on the floor and he can have Riko on his lap. "I'm yours. You know I am. How can I make you believe me?"

"You can't." he feels like a small child, tucked like this on Kevin's arms, fingers still grasping at his clothing. It's almost easy to forget he left purple finger-shaped bruises on his throat. "You'll just have to deal with me wanting to murder everyone you talk to."

"Will you drag me to a storeroom and choke me every time?"

Riko doesn't laugh. Kevin didn't mean it as a joke anyway. "Probably. Can't be high off my brain with mood stabilizers all the time. I'll try to control myself, though, if you stop giving heart-eyes to every handsome jock who gives you the time of the day." 

This is probably as close as an apology as Riko's physically possible of getting. Kevin accepts it, guilt-tripping and shallow as it is. "You don't have to. Control yourself, I mean. It's not like I haven't seen worse."

Riko looks at him, analytical and considering. Tilts his head in that way that makes him look more like a little bird than usual. "Sometimes I want to carve my name in you. The kanji of my first name. Somewhere you'd be able to hide with clothing. I'm good with kanji, I'd make it look pretty. And I don't know what's sicker, the fact that I want to do that or that you'd let me."

Kevin doesn't have an answer for that, but the certainty of the truth, raw and dangerous, makes him hold Riko a little tighter. 

**Author's Note:**

> riko is so mentally unstable it physically pains me and he also has the world's biggest amount of writing potential so HERE WE ARE I GUESS


End file.
